We typically think of a bias as being negative.


A bias is simply what we believe about the experiences we have lived through.

Another person may have experienced almost identical circumstances, but how each of us walked away from those circumstances, how we were impacted and affected by them, is largely determined by what we believed about them.

  • The story we told ourselves about them.
  • The “why” we believe about the experience.
  • The motivations we assume.

All those things create our biases.

Many benefits come from the ability to step back and observe our lives from a third person point of view.

  • We see our life events differently.
  • We have greater compassion for ourselves.
  • We correct ourselves.
  • We understand more about what we have believed.
  • The stories we have told ourselves become more clear.
  • We understand why we relate to people the way we do.
  • Why certain things bother or bless us.

When we take the time to examine our life circumstances and their effects, we can develop more empathetic ways to move forward.

With ourselves and with others.

After all, if our biases are that real for us, other’s must be for them as well.

When we better understand this, the grace to better understand each other increases.

That’s valuable in every area of life.

Loud is not a language… even when you are talking to yourself.


Brenda Harkins is a believer in impossible possibilities. In brokenness becoming beautiful. In justice and mercy and honor and power – with love perfecting them all. As a Speaker, Author, Mediator, and Professional Coach, Brenda is highly focused on the power of communication. Her confidence, clarity, and courage to transform challenges into victories were the catalyst for creating Loud Is Not A Language®, a communication model that is actually a challenge to transform you. Become more you. Building strong, resilient, respectful relationships at the same time.